


Ingredient Issues

by KarenHikari



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Humor, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-06
Updated: 2015-07-06
Packaged: 2018-04-07 22:10:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4279767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarenHikari/pseuds/KarenHikari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe Leo simply didn't care enough for his life, but the thing is that he managed to become the one and only demigod that had played a seriously big prank on Nico di Angelo and then survived to tell it. Narrowly, but he managed anyways. If you liked "Pointless Argument" you should probably give this a try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ingredient Issues

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah... talk about randomness... Let's just say that I have a lot of free time in History class okay?
> 
> Ingredient Issues

It is no secret that whenever you gather up a bunch of teenagers you always get at least one or two pranksters, that come up with the usual, silly little things that make everyone laugh. It was not any different at Half-Blood Camp or Camp Jupiter.

At both half-blood camps, the pranksters par excellence were the Stoll brothers, sons of Hermes with a lot of more wit than could be safe for the spawns of the god of thieves.

It had been a surprise for the whole Greek camp when Leo Valdez showed himself at the camp and soon enough priced himself as a worthy rival to the Stolls for the prankster title in the camp. This was, one, because Hephaestus' descendants tended to be serious on a regular basis, but apparently Leo enjoyed breaking rules too much for letting that stop him.

And two, it was surprising because… well, this was the Stoll brothers they were talking about–they counted a very impressive amount of jokes and pranks played both to the campers and to Chiron and Mr. D., and they had survived to tell it.

However it was, even the Stolls knew there were some people whom you simply didn't mess up with.

Maybe it was because of that small and old rivalry that Leo did it, or maybe Leo simply didn't care enough for his life, but the thing is that he managed to become the one and only demigod that had played a seriously big prank on Nico di Angelo and then survived to tell it. Narrowly, but he managed anyways.

It all started as a joke. No, really.

Jason, Percy and Leo had been just talking about their names and how they either had an actual meaning or sounded like another word, completely different.

Leo's name, for example meant 'lion' in Latin, and Jason bothered to pinpoint how Clarisse liked to change Percy's name into 'prissy'.

They had then come across the fact that 'hazel' actually meant something that was not only a name, and not even in other language, but in the very same they were speaking in.

After that, they'd moved into how both Hazel and Nico had both been pulled out of their time one way or the other and were now pretty surprised and amused by things that children from this century took for granted like fast food or a mere cellphone.

Just then an idea crept into Leo's mind. Probably not a good one, though.

Things were almost too easy to plan up.

He somehow managed to eavesdrop Jason telling Percy that Nico had told him he was planning to meet up with Hazel at Camp Half-Blood –where she had been staying for a week now– without her knowing the next day. From that moment on, everything was easy.

It took the son of Hephaestus only a millisecond to realize that this was his big chance.

Next day first thing he did was look for Frank and Hazel and approach them with this crazy idea of his that was step one on his probably-not-so-wonderful plan.

He offered the couple to take the Argo so they could be together the whole day for the first time ever since they had met, from what Leo could gather with Gaea and all.

Just the two of them in a huge, wonderful, monster-free, completely automatic Greek trireme that had strict orders to take them wherever they wanted as long as it was in American territory.

At first, Frank had been more than wary about it, but Leo finally assured him it was precisely to clear the air between the two of them and to prove they were cool now. He had also pinpointed how even if their relationship hadn't always been the best, he really did like Hazel and wouldn't have risked her just to mess up with him.

It was that statement the one that finally convinced Frank to take the offer. And it was probably then that they were all doomed.

Leo spent what was left of the morning smiling as a maniac and asking Jason when was Nico supposed to arrive, until the son of Jupiter finally snapped at him that it was not as if the son of Hades had even told him that in the first place.

That kept the Latino boy silent for a little more than half an hour, until Nico finally arrived.

Curiously enough, right when Nico showed up, Jason lost sight of Leo, who let Jason and Percy do the greetings.

Upon not seeing his sister in the camp, Nico ended up asking Jason and Percy where Hazel was, but all the other two could answer was a vague 'I dunno', until finally, Percy pinpointed that the last time he remembered seeing the girl it had been with Leo.

A couple of hours later, when Nico was really growing impatient, Leo appeared again, smiling like he always did when he was up to trouble. Jason sighed almost negligibly.

"You haven't seen Hazel in a while, have you?" he stated more than asked.

For a moment, Nico's dark eyes shone with genuine curiosity and concern. Leo almost felt bad for what he was doing. Almost.

Jason muttered something under her breath that was either a swearing or some kind of prayer.

"Where is she?" Nico demanded straightforward.

"Well…" Leo said, faking complete innocence. "It is something you might not want to know…" he insinuated.

Nico narrowed his dark eyes dangerously and a shudder ran down Leo's spine. "What are you talking about, Valdez?" he deadpanned.

"Hey! I'm just saying…" he offered, while he couldn't stop a smile from stretching out in his lips.

A moment of tense and confused silence settled around the demigods until Leo finally pulled out a Nutella jar from his magic belt and handed it to Nico, with that mad scientist grin of his while the poor boy stared back at him cluelessly.

"What is this?" Nico hissed through his clenched lips.

"Oh, you read it" Leo hurried politely.

Slowly, Nico's dark eyes settled on the small container as he started to read the tiny words that spread on the cover, murmuring the words under his breath as he read them.

«Tasty hazel nut spread that with quality ingredients. Contains over 50 hazels nuts.»

He immediately stopped reading. When he finally raised his eyes to Leo his dark orbs were first clouded with confusion and then filled with rage.

"Valdez!" he screamed. "What in the name of Hades have you done!"

Leo burst into laughter, while all Percy and Jason could do was stare at each other, confused about whether if to join Leo and laugh or take pity on Nico and explain him that they were actually talking about his sister's homonymous, not of her.

Completely lost in laugh as he was, Leo missed the moment when the earth in front of the fuming son of Hades opened up and skeletal soldiers began to creep out of it.

When Hazel and Frank finally arrived back to the camp a few hours later, Hazel was pleasantly surprised to see her brother, though she didn't understand what he'd meant when he said he was glad she hadn't been transformed into food.

On the other side, she was not happy to find Leo in the infirmary, with at least half of his body covered in bandages and that mad scientist grin of his plastered in his face.

And she was especially not happy to find out no-one was willing to tell her what had happened while Frank and her had been gone.

"Ingredient issues", was all that Percy said.

"Yup. Lowercase mistaken for a capital", confirmed Jason.

However it was, after that incident Leo could never be in the same room as Nico without starting to laugh maniacally. At the same time, Nico couldn't stand Leo's presence without sending a death glare in his direction and drawing an arm protectively around Hazel.

**Author's Note:**

> How bad was that? I know this whole thing was probably one huge failure, but I though 'why not?' so I wrote it down and well... I just hope this doesn't crash and burn!
> 
> Please let me know your opinions!


End file.
